Trapped In Expectations

Lauryn Davis

        In chapter three of I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter by Erika L. Sánchez, Julia describes what she dreams of in the future, "I'm a famous writer who wears flamboyant scarves and travels all around the world, meeting fascinating people" (Sánchez 27). These fantasies of a better, more exciting life are not uncommon of a fifteen year old but, what follows afterwards is. When Julia stops daydreaming she, "realize[s] that I'm still in my tiny bedroom and can't even go outside. It's like a living death. I almost envy Olga, which I know is completely fucked up"(Sánchez 27). On the surface, Julia, after being grounded by her mother, appears to feel trapped inside her apartment. Not only is she physically trapped within the confines of her apartment, she is also trapped under the weight of her family's expectations of what a perfect Mexican daughter should be. In this moment, Julia envies her sister's death because she believes that her "living death" is in some way comparable to real mortality. This envy highlights Julia's age and lack of maturity. Also, I feel that Julia has yet to be able to truly mourn her sister's passing and therefore distances herself from these unhappy feelings by envying and disliking the memory of Olga.  Furthermore, Julia also envies the legacy of what a perfect Mexican daughter is that has been left by Olga.

Julia's lack of space to truly mourn Olga's death is a plot point that struck me. There is a song entitled "Brother" by Falling in Reverse, a band that I believe Julia would listen to. This is a song about the lead singer's brother who had passed away due to a car accident and the lyrics relate very well to Julia's situation.


Discussion Questions:

1.) In what ways do Julia's feelings of being trapped under the expectations of a Mexican daughter contribute to her personality/expression? Where do we see this in the novel?

2.) In what ways does Julia comply with/go against her mother's expectations of what a  Mexican daughter should be?