The Games we Play and the Borders that Define us

Castillo experiences many emotions when crossing the border. Over the three times discussed there are two distinct concepts that appear repeatedly. One is about how the border is not limited to its solid form, the second is about how the whole process of both becoming a citizen and crossing is simply a game.

The first time Castillo returns to Mexico he contemplates the concept of the border and that while there is a border “nothing in the landscape around it held a particular shape for long” (28). He realizes the border itself didn’t just exist as a “long thread of hair” as it appeared from the plane, but rather “everywhere” (29). The border was not something so easily black and white, it was an oppressive concept that hung over the land, blending with it. Upon returning to the US without his Father we see segments from the first time he had gone to the US when his family had entered.  He talks about how he had slowly gone blind as if the oppression of the border had clouded his vision. “the things in front of me slowly became less and less of themselves… as if they too wanted to get a little farther north” (182). After losing colors, shapes, and shadows, Castillo was left with only contrasts, he could tell what a thing was not by what it looked like, “but by the things around it. By what it was not” (183). The border became an amorphous concept to him, instead of being limited to the line between the US and Mexico, it became a constant reminder that this was somewhere he did not belong. It wasn’t who he was that mattered, but rather the people and things around him that told him what he was.  Just like his “Welcome to America” had given him a spot in the US, even though he had already been here for 21 years. And even though he receives his spot in America, “We did in three minutes what my father had waited ten years to do but couldn’t” (196) he is quickly reminded that his acceptance in America is not permanent by the TSA agent who stops him and he realizes “ I had no choice. I wasn’t yet a citizen” (197). And finally, just as on his first crossing he tries to read a book on the plane and realizes “it didn’t make much sense. I couldn’t read the words” (198). The oppression of the border weighs just as heavily on him as it did when he was a child crossing illegally into the country.

Castillo laments that on his first crossing his parents wanted him to know the truth “the guns, the agents roving on foot with their large flashlights.” He wonders if they should have told him it was a game and decides that “Yes, they should have told me it was all make-believe” (174).  This concept of a game is hit on quite heavily again when he crosses with his green card and the border agents barely acknowledge his existence because they are so busy talking about football.  He looks back while drunk “I wanted to tell them about the border officers who were talking about football as if it was just football. Wasn’t it just football? Wasn’t it just a piece of paper? Wasn’t it just ten years?” (202).  He tries to understand how to some his life is less interesting than a game of football, wouldn’t it be easier if it were all a game? On page 199 Castillo has some sort of a dream in which there was a game that “the children played adults and the adults played children. The border agents were the grooms. The border agents were the smoke outside because everything was burning.”  Even in his dreams where he wants to believe it is all a game, he cannot escape the fire that it the government coming for them, the border agents as the smoke. So instead his family pretends they are a regular family from the movies “We baked every fucking pie we saw in the movies” (200).  They must try and be perfect “Americans” because who they are does not belong. They play a game to try and fit in. It’s all just a game.  From getting his green card to crossing the border, it doesn’t matter who he really is, his hopes and dreams are all irrelevant, all that matters is that he plays the game.

On page 17, Castillo talks about the photos he developed,  how everything was black and white how he had "no patience for gray." How does the notion of black and white fit into the concept of an amorphous, oppressive border?

In what other ways do we see the concept of a game or playing a part occurring throughout the novel?    

Justice For Immigrants